Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
