Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
