6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
