There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
