he thought i was a dude.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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