Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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