She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The air was thick with penises
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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