i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
