I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
God, I missed his penis.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
