Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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