ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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