11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
