Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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