She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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