I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
They have beer where we have blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
