Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
