what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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