I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
