No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up under a house in Key West
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