i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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