She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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