so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
