Sponge bath it is.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
