just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
