Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
