if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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