this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
