I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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