Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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