I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
