did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
