you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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