We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
