the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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