we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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