rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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