would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
