i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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