I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
