did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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