You made me cry and you don't even care
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
