Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
MIDGETS
????
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
