The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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