whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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