Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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