We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
