She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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