yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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