oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
