What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
