I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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