Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
