i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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