I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize