youre lurking in front of me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
