Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
