did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
