dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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