yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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