I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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