I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
