why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
