After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
