never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
