How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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